poem by lauren sampson

Grown

I’m 3 years old and I wish 

to be held in your arms forever while 

laying my head on your chest I

listen to the steadiness of your heartbeat and fall asleep 

cradled by your embrace feeling safe 

I will love you forever

8 rotations around the sun I

want to play outside all day I

am running circles around you I

am hoping you can keep up with me for I 

am truly happy — in every sense of the word and I 

know that I’ll like you for always

13 comes and goes and I think 

I hate you for the first time I’m not 

understanding the importance of family practices 

instead prioritizing pal proximity, my friendships are

more important than father—daughter time I feel our 

relationship slowly fading away by the hour

I hardly see you, but I still love you 

as long as you’re living

18 the “prime time” of my life but 

my heart was broken before just 

never like this because

I thought I lost you forever 

not knowing if we would ever be the same

is what scared me the most it was like I was going insane

I could feel myself shrinking away into nothing 

every time I pushed you farther away

Currently I am 23

24 soon to be and our 

rekindled relationship is stronger evidently but

I think back to when I was a 3 year old seed 

snuggled up in your arms all cozy and free 

not knowing the type of person I would grow into maybe, 

subliminally

I was trying to erase the pieces of you until internally 

I realized how much I still needed you 

and the traits you gave me

but don’t you worry Dad

Your baby girl I’ll always be